The phone call

I'm still feeling under the weather, but the blog must go on! Feeling uninspired, usually the words just flow out of me, so today’s blog may end up fairly short. We’ll see.

Ah, inspiration! I was going to talk about transportation, but my husband just called, which brought another idea to mind; one of the many challenges of being a military spouse: the phone call when you’re husband is deployed.

I try to keep a list of things I want to ask him or bring up when he calls during the long deployments so I wouldn’t forget. I never know when he’ll call and I can’t call him. Things come up over the course of time, and I would think of things that I want to discuss, but have a memory like a sieve, so it’s better I write things down. He hasn’t been gone that long this trip, but it doesn’t matter; immediately after hanging up the phone I’m wondering if I forgot to tell him something. I hate that.

It’s worse when he’s been deployed for longer periods of time to horrible places. The fears and questions are even more prevalent. Think marriage is struggle? Try this on for size. I have to determine what to bring up and what not to when he calls when I haven’t seen my husband in 6 months. Do I make a decision about something and hope that it’s the right one or do I ask him now while I have him on the phone? When is a good time to discuss something that’s been weighing on my heart and mind? While he’s busy watching his back? Do I let something eat at me for another three months or do I burden him with it on the phone when he has to deal with God knows what the next day? And…if I do decide that I want to discuss/share/vent during a particular phone call, will that be the last time I talk to him, ever? Talk about having to make a heavy decision sometimes…

I will say it’s taken me awhile to figure that out. Not discussing usually outweighs discussing given the circumstances, which means discussing when he is home; when he’s glad to be finally home and comfortable and adjusting to the routine of everyday life. Is it a good time to vent then? It’s not so easy.

Yes, we military wives know to a point what we are in for, but you’re never quite prepared for all of it. So many things come up that you never thought would and you never really know how strong you are until you suddenly realize that you’re coping. You don’t know how, but you are. It get’s tiring though. I’m tired of having to be strong all the time, but you just have to. No one else will do it for you.

He’ll be home next week. This was a short trip this time. Short is better of course, but all deployments are the same. A military spouse never really get’s used to it. We become more experienced with it, figure out what we need to do to cope, but never really get used to it.

Furthermore, one more super thing about deployments…we’ve been married for 3 years and this is the 3rd Valentine’s Day that we’ve been apart! Bottom line, deployments will happen, it's their job, deal with it. There's always next year!